Management

I got this in email some time ago.

For those on the outside and us suffering fools on the inside, here is something that explains life at the rat...

SINGAIR and QANTAS decided to have a canoe race on the Sydney Harbour. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, SINGAIR won by a km. QANTAS, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat.

A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was that SINGAIR had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the QANTAS team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing.

So QANTAS management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. They advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.

To prevent another loss to SINGAIR, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.

They also implemented a new performance system that would give the person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the Rowing Team Quality First Program with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. There was a workshop about getting new paddles, canoes and other capital equipment, plus a new logo, uniforms, and advertising campaigns.

The next year SINGAIR won by two kms.

Humiliated, QANTAS management finally decided that cost cutting was necessary so they laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and cancelled all capital investments for new equipment, then gave senior management bonuses for improved productivity.

As someone put it best, it would be funnier if it were not true.